The Week Seventeen Weigh In

It's funny; I have to start looking back at my files to remember what week this is. After week 12 I started losing track.

This morning I weighed myself and it was the same weight it's been for the past four days -- 210.5. So I only lost half a pound this week. Well, it could have been worse. I could have been up two more pounds. Or more. I have to remind myself that I am all off kilter this week and in between medications, so it's actually impressive I was able to lose anything while I'm dealing with water retention rebound. So I have to embrace whatever victory I can.

Unfortunately, I've also fallen off the food wagon today, and I'm definitely caving into all the comfort food cravings I try to avoid most of the time. I managed to resist all week amidst the stress and aggravation, which was more than I thought I could accomplish. Even last night, when we went out with our friends to dinner, I took the high path and ate the grilled chicken breast and steamed veggies while everyone else was ordering their paninis, fried fish, and steaks with loaded baked potatoes. I even split my chicken in half, gave half of that away for my friends to try and packed the rest up (along with all the rice and bread) to bring home for my daughter to eat.

But I pretty much decided I would give myself today to eat what I wanted, then get back on track tomorrow. I know I've been talking about addressing the two-day weekend splurges, but knowing cold turkey will make me crazy, I'll just cut it in half and try going with one-days.

In a strange twist, today I'm being the lazy bum and Hubby is the busy bee. He's been working on odd jobs around the house and getting things accomplished, while I've been lounging. I don't feel very guilty about it, though. Yesterday I was up at 5 a.m. shoveling snow and spent the afternoon sweeping, vacuuming, tidying up and doing laundry. So most of my chores were already done when I got up this morning. I did get in my cardio this morning, though -- 45 minutes on the recumbent bike -- so I wasn't a complete slug.

Before I go, I must relay to you my new winter fashion. Since losing the prime chunk of my weight my internal thermometer has not been reset; I used to be hot all the time, now I can never seem to get warm. My hands, feet and nose are always cold and there are days I can never seem to get rid of the chill. So the last few days I've begun dressing in layers-- a thin layer of socks, leggings and shirt underneath, and a top layer of heavier socks, sweats or fleece pants and a sweater or sweatshirt. For the first time in weeks I've been comfortable.

Hubby has watched this new ritual and decided to order me silk long underwear from C*bel*s, which I thought was a very thoughtful and nice gesture. I didn't even have to hint or suggest, he just took it upon himself to do it, and even ordered the right size! Despite my grumblings about some of his behavior, he does have a lot of redeeming qualities, too.

I know I've been pretty down in the dumps this week, but I think I'm already beginning to see a little lift in my mood. I think a lot of it is knowing I'm doing my best to take care of myself, whether it's keeping a handle on my eating, staying active, or dealing with my problems by either confronting them or hashing them out on my blog. I may not be a perfect eater today-- hell, I'll never be perfect-- but I'm so much better than I used to be, and I'll continue to strive to be a better person. That's all anyone can ask of themselves.