Monday, January 15, 2007

Return to Sanity

Thanks for the comments and advice for my mini-freakout Sunday morning.

The more I thought about it, and more importantly, thought back to 2002 when I first went on the medicine I'm on now, I actually recognized several of the minor side effects the Internet complainers were having. I suffered with a few of these things initially, and some I've just chalked up to the price I had to pay to make other parts of my life better. I'm still convinced it was the medical cocktail I was taking -- the oral contraceptive, the androgen inhibitor and the thyroid medicine -- that helped me lose the weight. I'm not giving the pills all the credit -- a lot of it had to do with making healthier choices, eating smaller portions, lots of exercise, and of course getting to the environmental and emotional reasons why I turn to food. But the medicine helped to boost my energy, my mood, and I think my metabolism, too.

So I'm pretty sure now that I shouldn't have too many surprises when I start taking the new pills. I feel silly for going off the deep end here in my Sunday posts, but I sometimes get panicky like that when I make big decisions.

The weekend food situation didn't go very well. In fact, it was downright messy. I could easily write it off as just enjoying new, interesting foods, but something tells me there are some emotional factors brewing under the surface. My daughter's surgery has me worried (not because there's something major to worry about, it's just because I dread all surgery and hospital stays), and that low-level, simmering stress is one of the worst kinds for me when it comes to emotional eating.

But in my usual fashion, today was "straighten my a** up Monday" and I'm back to the regular routine. I did another 4.5 mph stint on the treadmill this morning, which was definitely a struggle but felt darn good at the same time. Also did lots of stair climbing with the rest of the den and Mabel's bedroom boxes. I wanted to get them inside before the next round of cold weather settles in. Once the boxes are inside I can unpack and organize them in the warmth of my house and not slip and slide in the snow or ice.

Very tired this evening. I suppose it's been a long day, and this past weekend was a pretty hectic one with little time to rest. I feel like a shark; I think they're the ones who have to be in perpetual motion, or else they die. I'd love to not be in constant motion, but lately that's just not part of my reality. There's always half a dozen things to do, and the minute I take a break I can't stop thinking about what else needs to be done.

But now, it's bedtime, and I'm really looking forward to lying down and closing my eyes.

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