Order Up!

Busy day. This is the week that I create, print and mail the church newsletter, on top of my usual bulletin. I definitely have myself in overdrive, because I'm losing Friday due to my daughter's surgery. So far everything's going well (knock on wood) and I should have everything done tomorrow.

It was also a busy afternoon of running errands. I picked up some things for Mabel (Popsicles, new PJs, a fuzzy poster to color), some sundry items for me, plus I went to the library and checked out two books by two of my favorite authors, Anne Rice and P.D. James. I thought about getting "Thin For Life" (I've heard some AFGers talk about it positively), but I wanted to get lost in some fiction for a while. When I take these books back in two weeks I'll grab it, if it's in.

This evening I've been putting things away in the bathroom and in the dreaded junk drawers. In the old house I always threw fits about the main junk drawer in the kitchen because 1. It would get so full of junk I couldn't open/close the drawer 2. It was completely unorganized and 3. Often it had stuff in it that shouldn't have been there at all. For example, we do not need a packet of oregano seeds in the kitchen junk drawer!

So I splurged on some drawer organizer doohickeys, little plastic dividers/bins, and one set even came with stickers to label what goes where! I got all my OCD juices flowing big time as I sorted out the rubber bands, safety pins, pens and pencils, and discovered all kinds of things. Hubby's always searching for matches or a lighter (for the grill, not for smoking) and lo and behold, I found three lighters and two packs of matches, that now have their own little hole in the organizer.

I also designated some other little drawers for specific items: one for batteries, one for the big rolls of tape (duct, packing, masking), one for the glue gun and its glue sticks, etc.

I don't know why it gives me such contentment to see these drawers so orderly. Who am I kidding? I like being in control; chaos equals stress. It's wonderful to be the master of my domain (woah, major Se1nfeld reference there!) and be able to tell Hubby or Mabel or anyone else exactly where we keep the push pins, or which drawer has the rolls of string.

The same thing goes for my food plan. There's a sense of security when my food's planned out for the day, I feel comfortable when I have control over the food I have around me and know how it's been prepared. I get uneasy when I don't know where I'll be eating a meal and what they'll have available. I feel anxious when I'm presented food and I have no clue how many calories are in it because I have no control over the person's kitchen and how much butter, sugar or oil they've put in it. I was nearly beside myself when I went to a restaurant last week and discovered that not only did they not carry any low-calorie salad dressing, but they didn't even have salsa as a substitute! (That'll teach me not to carry a container of my favorite dressing in my purse; I wound up using oil and vinegar and really skimped on the oil.)

Discussing my dislike for chaos and uncertainty, I won't know until Thursday what time Mabel's surgery is on Friday. Why do hospitals do that? I know, it's probably about last minute cancellations, emergency surgeries, things like that. But still, it's nerve wracking. And I'm sure my food is going to be completely chaotic that day; I'll be stuck in a hospital, spending hours in a waiting room, and I'll probably wind up spending the night sleeping in a chair. I'm going to be nervous as hell about her surgery, and I'm sure Mabel's going to be extra needy and demanding in the first hours of her recovery. I'm going to be put upon, stressed and tired, and I have no idea what I'll do about meals.

I'm not saying this as a "what the hell," "you deserve this" excuse to eat a bunch of crap. I'm aware of the landmines I'm walking into, and I'm going to do my best to stay aware and avoid as many as I can.

Depending on how early we have to be there Friday morning, and if I wind up sleeping at the hospital that night, it's still unclear when I can give you my weekly weigh in. I'll do my best to do it Friday or Saturday, but it may be difficult to get online. It'll happen, though. I don't want to give myself another "bye" week so soon after the holidays. This is traditionally my worst time of the year for gaining weight, and I'm trying to be as vigilant with my routines as possible. Yes, once again, I go to my need for order and control. It's inescapable.