Saturday, July 31, 2004

70 Pounds Gone

Once again, I reached my monthly goal, 240, on the very last day, but hey, as long as it happens, right?

I know I'm repeating myself, but I can't believe that I've actually lost 70 pounds since February! Seventy! How is that even possible, for someone who in the past couldn't even lose 10 without major hassle and then gained 20 back? It almost seems too good to be true, but all I can say is that I finally seem to have my life and head on the right track.

Although my house and B&B office have totally fallen apart. This week teaching Vacation Bible School was my breaking point, and now everything's a mess again. Oh well. I guess I'll just have to tackle it all again -- as if the work would ever end! I guess that's the key, not only with housework but with my body as well. They're things that need constant upkeep and maintenance. You might be able to take a day or two off once in a while, but let things slide too long and you run the risk of letting things get out of your control. Wise advice!

Saturday, July 24, 2004

Living Life

July weigh-ins:
July 11 -- 246
July 17 -- 244
Today -- 242

As you can see, I'm now averaging 2 pounds a week, and while it isn't as speedy as I'd like, it is a more reasonable and healthier rate. I think it's mainly due to the fact that every weekend I keep overeating in one way or another. I guess it's some consolation that despite those "bad" moments I still keep losing weight, but I do worry that I'm teetering ever so precariously on the brink of -- what, failure, relapse, hopeless addiction? I guess it depends on who you talk to.

Tonight Mabel and I went to the local pizza place and I ate pretty heartily, although nothing like the "good old days" when I could have easily eaten twice as much and not even blinked. While tonight I walked home feeling foundered. But I hardly ate anything all day, managed to get some activity in by helping LH move in (did I mention she's now our roommate?) and with another 2 pounds gone, I figured I'd splurge a little -- again.

I know I'm not writing much lately, but it seems like I'm always too busy or too tired to analyze life, because I'm actually living it!

Saturday, July 10, 2004

Not Budging

I'll start off by saying that after two "not so good days" on Sunday (the 4th picnic) and on Monday, I did as good as I could the rest of the week, but the scale hasn't budged. But I do think that in past months that the pre-menstrual week is typically the week I don't lose or lose very little, then slough it off afterwards.

I certainly didn't have the time to overeat this week. The new job began Tuesday, and so far there's nothing I've seen that I can't handle. Of course, summer is the slow season, and I may be singing a different tune at Christmas and Easter.

So far the treadmill first thing in the morning is working out pretty well, too. I'll just be glad to see some downward movement on the scale soon to let me know it's paying off.

I should write lots more, but it's late, I've got church in the morning, and I need to get my beauty sleep!

***P.S. I hit 246 the next day, July 11.

Saturday, July 03, 2004

Off to a Good Start

I am truly shocked and shaken to be in the 240s already (I hit 248 yesterday). But I've been really active this week. I hardly sat down at all to watch TV or anything, and I guess it paid off. With any luck, if I'm already off to such a good start, and with no major pig out events scheduled until August, I may far and exceed my monthly goal of reaching 240. Stress with the new job may be a detrimental factor; there was a study in the news this week proving (my theory at least in my overeating) that people recover and comfort themselves by eating after stressful moments. It's certainly what I did after leaving my job, and even during those years, I'd come home from a crappy day and want to EAT.

This past week I started doing the treadmill in the morning as soon as I get up, and I think that's a new routine I can handle. This month I have a feeling getting gym time in is going to be more difficult as I'm in training mode and following the outgoing secretary's schedule. But once she's gone and it's my ship to run, I'll make sure that time is allotted in the morning. I don't relish going to the gym in the afternoons (too hot!), but I may have to on some days if I want to get it done.

In this past week of cleaning and reorganizing I've come across a lot of photos, and that's when it really sinks in that I've lost so much weight. On a day to day basis it's difficult sometimes to see much of a difference, but when I look at pictures, even from this past October, it's amazing to see just in the face how much of the fat is gone. Sometimes I even catch a glance of myself in the mirror and I'm pleasantly surprised by the attractive girl I see there without the puffiness and double chin.

I mentioned there's no major pig outs before, but of course I'm excluding our July 4th picnic tomorrow. Clearly my mind's already moved on to better things! Meanwhile, I have to spend all day today making the food, so I guess I better get out of bed and get to work. Although I'm enjoying what will probably be one of my few sleep-in mornings for some time!

Thursday, July 01, 2004

Making Goal

I just made my monthly goal of 250 on the very last day possible, but that's typical of the way I do most things. But now I've lost 60 pounds since Feb. 17 -- over 80 total since my very heaviest point -- and that only continues to amaze me.

It wasn't long ago that I used to think to myself, "Oh, if I could only get myself back down to 250, but even that would take a miracle." Now it's here, after only four and a half months of trying, and now I consider 250 my halfway point to my new "if only" of 190 pounds. Honestly, it seems like such a dream to get below that monumental 200. But I just have to continue what I've been doing, not only what I eat and do physically, but emotionally as well. That means smaller, more approachable monthly and weekly goals, allowing myself the occasional "chow down" and not beating myself up when I do. Clearly it's been working so far, and as long as I continue regular exercise and moderate portions of healthy food, I should (God help me) be able to keep it off.

Now if I can just keep my stress levels to a minimum. This week I've been busting my butt trying to get some loose ends tied up with my life so I have less to fret over, at least during this training month with the new job. I've been trying to streamline, organize and systematize things at home and at the B&B so I have less aggravations, and doing lots of errands like prescription refills, eye exams and other things so I don't forget about them later.

I feel like I'm preparing for a big vacation or a prolonged hospital stay/illness. I'm surprised I haven't cooked a lot of meals and frozen them (although that isn't such a bad idea!). I can't get the mindset of the overwhelming newspaper job out of my head. I have to keep telling myself this is a part-time job, not a life-sucking one like the previous job eventually became. Surely this will be a job I can easily master -- I'm certainly overqualified! I just need to find a way to relax and look forward to this.