Sunday, September 09, 2007

In the Dog House

This morning SS called to check in with me about the trip to London. I said I couldn't imagine getting a better deal on tickets (I expected to pay 2-300 dollars more) and knew I'd regret not going. So he and our other friends are going to finalize dates tomorrow night and get these tickets ordered.

My husband and my mother were in the room during the phone call. I overheard Hubby say to my mom, "Well, I guess she's made up her mind." And when I hung up, he said to me, "I guess you're more than leaning towards yes."

"How can I pass up a deal like this?" I replied.

But apparently he knows how, because he's been giving me the silent, unhappy treatment ever since. He and I are both people-pleasers at heart, and I think he knows that it kills me when I know someone's displeased with me.

It's so unfair. I've never given him any guilt or resistance to any of the trips he's taken without me. He claims it's because it's "mixed" company. For Pete's sake, the one guy is gay, and the other extremely devoted to his wife. There is absolutely no chance of any shenanigans.

He asked me what I would think if he announced he was taking a trip with a married couple we know and a lesbian. "Yeah? So?" I replied.

He claims our small town will "bash" me about taking this trip with these people. I responded that it's really nobody's business where I go and with who. "What am I supposed to tell people if they ask me where you are?" he asked. "I'm on a trip with some friends," I answered.

He's concerned about Mabel getting ready for school, because he has to leave early in the morning. My mother's already volunteered to stay here and take care of her in the mornings.

He brings up the money issue. I countered that I get money for Christmas from my parents and that should cover it.

I've answered every question he's raised, but it comes down to the fact that he doesn't like me leaving him alone, and worse yet having fun with someone other than him. I understand this, but yet again, it's a double standard. I know, life isn't fair, but in this instance I think it should be.

Anyway, I think I'll be in the dog house for a while around here. At least when something like this happens it makes me not want to eat.


Jenny said...

I am so glad you stuck to your guns and that you are indeed going on your trip. It's a great opportunity, and I am sure the cheap flights was a sign that said 'GO'.

Now you have to make sure he doesn't make you feel awful between now and when you go. He may hope to persuade you to change your mind, I just hope that the buildup beforehand isn't spoiled for you.

My husband and I idolize each other, and I go away times a year on scrapbooking retreats and am out every Friday night until very late, scrapbooking with girlfriends. I have been doing this for a few years now, so it's just normal......

I love how you have everything covered so whenever he raises a concern, you quash it!!

Lori said...

I'm glad you stuck to your guns too. In your earlier post, it sounded like you already TOLD him you were going.

Why would anyone ask about the make-up of your friends? They're old friends from (insert association) and that's all he and anyone else needs to tell anyone.

Maybe someone else is making him feel inadequate (not you) about your decision. In that case, there's very little you can do about it except reassure him that you will cover all the bases and come back. It's unfair that he is doing this to you. Give him some time to mentally adjust to this and then if he still is PO'd remind him of his trips, etc. I'm sorry that your excitement is a bit marred by this. :-(

Ty said...

I'm sorry your husband is having a hard time with you going away. My husband would probably have a hard time too but he would play the passive/aggressive role rather than just coming out with it.

I hope you have a wonderful time.