This Too Shall Pass

Last night actually went pretty well. Supper was turkey chili, I measured out two cups' worth and that was it. I finished off the last of my dark chocolate stash -- two pieces of Ghirardelli that came in a big bag that I gave to my mother as a Valentine's gift. She's really into the high percentage cacao(60 to 80 percent is her thing), and these ranged from 60 to 70. There are three varieties in the bag -- mint, espresso and a "twilight" flavor that was the most intense -- and individually wrapped, which makes it a little easier to stick to smaller portions. Of all the dark chocolate I ate this week, it was the smallest amount but definitely the best quality. Not sure of the calories on these, but I'm guessing 100-150 calories for the two pieces. By the way, the espresso was my favorite.

Bailed out again on the gym this morning, but I did the stability ball and a little shoveling. I feel like such a bum, but I just couldn't take the thought of the -15 degree wind chill. I will be so glad when this deep freeze goes away and I can get myself back into routine. I was afraid this was going to happen when I left my gym behind in the old house -- that it was going to make it easier for me to skip exercising -- but at least the overriding feeling is I can't wait to get back to it, rather than dreading it. And it's some consolation that I'm getting up and doing something -- at least the urge to do some kind of exercise is still in place. But I cannot wait until our basement is fixed up and I can just hop down the stairs for my cardio.

Better yet, I'm looking forward to warmer weather and returning to my outside walks. My sister-in-law and I would do our morning three-mile walks and not only get some decent exercise, but vent all our problems and stress for the day ahead.

Until then, I've got to keep layering up in my long underwear and covering every inch of flesh I possibly can when I venture outside. It's such a drawn out drama every time you want to leave the house, so I do it as little as possible. It's so easy to get depressed at this time of year, so easy to curl up on the couch with a plate of warm chocolate chip cookies and doze off in a sugary, fat-laden haze.

I have to remember as I approach my weigh in tomorrow that my body's still getting accustomed to this new medicine, too, and it's PMS week, so I shouldn't be surprised if there's a little water retention. If I have gained anything this week, I expect it to be within that 2-pound water gain range that I've been told is a normal fluctuation. Because my clothes don't feel tight, I don't feel like I'm ballooning out of control, so I don't expect anything disastrous.

The past two weeks have definitely given me a glimpse into the future world of maintenance, still doing most of the work that I did while I was losing weight, but not getting the reward of a downward movement on the scale. It's also very obvious how important exercise is to my program and how essential it is to get my metabolism going and burn off some of these calories. Because clearly I'm not a natural "burner"; at the very most I can achieve a slow simmer.

I've already mentioned that we're going to Pittsburgh tomorrow for my Valentine dinner. Hubby let it slip and told me we're doing Thai food, which has me very excited, because it's one of my all-time favorites. We're also making a Trader Joe's stop, and I've been compiling my list of must-find foods. We have so little variety and choice where I live, so to be able to go to an area that provides alternative, unusual and exotic foods is a real treat. And I can feel good about it because a lot of the things I'm looking for are healthy foods. I get recommendations all the time from Hungry Girl for things that are available at TJ's, and I only get to one once or twice a year, so I make every visit count.

Sunday's an unknown: I'm going to try to beg off on running around and eating out after being in Pittsburgh all day Saturday, but it may fall on deaf ears. Apparently it's a crime against humanity if we don't spend every single Sunday with the in-laws, but when you do it every single week, it isn't a "treat" anymore; it becomes a chore. Hubby will not be happy if he actually ever sees this blog, but it's how I feel. I never had high maintenance parents -- my mother's so laid back she's almost backwards, and I only see my dad maybe half a dozen times a year, and that's estimating on the high side. So I'm not used to this constant need to be together, and I don't know if I'll ever be totally comfortable with it.

You're probably noticing, and I am, too, that I'm not making a weekend game plan. I guess I don't really have one and don't feel like making one. I'm not sure if this lackadaisical attitude is good or bad; on the one side I could be worrying that I'm moving into the "I don't give a sh*t" mode and will soon start overeating regularly. But I'm also seeing that it's a move towards patience. This cold and snow will soon pass, and this adjustment time with the medicine will pass, too. I know I'll be on my routine Monday morning as sure as I know I'll be going to work (no, I don't get Presidents' Day off). I may not lose weight again this week, but I know I didn't gain a lot, either. I'll get my exercise full throttle again, and eventually this and the healthy eating will pay off. I just need to bide my time and soldier through this bitterly cold month, and soon Spring, warmer weather and happier moods will return.