The Week 23 Weigh In

Well, I've had a "standstill" week and have remained at 206.5.

I'm actually quite pleased about this because last week I was convinced it was a "false positive" reading because it was such a big loss and probably due to dehydration. Seeing it a second week in a row makes it more real, if that makes any sense.

My mom and husband have both made comments this week that I'm looking "skinnier," which was also a positive validation. These people see me regularly, so for them to notice a change is kind of impressive.

I was watching BBC America last night and I realized something: in Britain women on TV are allowed to look like real women! There are fat ones and thin ones, with wrinkles and sagginess, crooked teeth, thin lips and non elfin-like noses. Even gray hair! And I'm not talking about the fringe characters that are either there to be made fun of or treated like dirt. These are the stars of the shows! For years I've adored Dawn French and her show The Vicar of Dibley. Other than being short in stature, there is nothing small about this woman, including her tremendous talent (in my heavier days I was even told I resembled her). While some fun was made of her love of chocolate, the Vicar was considered the sanest and most reasonable one in her community, and believe it or not, she was even considered desirable by men! I heard rumors that an American version might be in production starring Kirstie Alley as the vicar/preacher. Which just goes to show the difference between the two countries' media: the BBC had no problems with Dawn's size and her show has been one of the highest rated in British history, while Kirstie has to lose 75 pounds and make herself a public whipping girl ("I'm so sorry I got fat, I'll never do it again!") to be able to get a role.

That rant makes me sound like I'm anti-diet, which is a little hypocritical since this post is about me losing weight! The fact of the matter is, I may lose more weight and get closer to a more acceptable size, but I am never going to be one of the perfect girls you see on TV or the movies. My goal right now is to reach 180 -- considered downright huge by our media's standards. I'll have loose skin, floppy arms and thighs, along with the beginnings of graying hair and a few wrinkles that are starting to emerge. And I have a right to be who I am without expensive medical treatments to correct my "flaws," right? Some days I'm not so sure.

I hope everyone has a good weekend. Tomorrow's going to be a busy day, so I'm not sure if I'll find time to post. If not, see you all on Monday!