Monday, March 05, 2007

Getting Better All the Time

Didn't get around to posting yesterday. I served the communion wine at church, then we had to go out to lunch with the in-laws, then my daughter and I passed out in the afternoon, and in the evening I got caught up in dish washing, getting Mabel ready for bed and all that usual evening stuff.

I'm definitely starting to feel better, but I still haven't gotten myself back into the exercise groove yet. I feel bad about it, mostly because I enjoy the buzz, but I know I'm still recovering and on major antibiotics. This week for sure I'm getting back on track with that, although I may take it a little slow and work back up to my full capacity.

Yet another bad weekend food wise. It was compounded by a lot of restaurant meals, including a Chinese buffet and dinner at Red Monster (Mabel called the seafood restaurant that when she was 3 and I've called it that ever since). But I made plenty of less than healthy choices on my own, too.

Right now I'm trying to take these weekend slip-ups in stride. I'm not proud of them, and eventually I would love to eliminate them from my life, or at least greatly reduce them. At this point they are contained, I continue to get right back on track and slowly lose weight, so I know I'm making progress.

Yesterday at church I said hello to a girl I went to school with, although we weren't what I would consider friends; she's a few years younger than me and is probably closer in age to my sister. She and her fiance have recently returned to church and are becoming regulars. Since I'm the church secretary and feel like I represent our church, I made an effort to chit chat with her because we definitely are glad to have young adults coming and boosting our membership.

She then veered off the safe topics of weather, etc., and said, "You know, every time I see you I'm so impressed by how much weight you've lost since high school. It's really amazing."

I politely thanked her for the compliment, and it did help boost my morale in the midst of another sloppy weekend. But I can't help in those instances feeling like a fraud. Yes, I've lost all this weight, but had she seen what I ate for breakfast that morning she'd wonder how in the world I did it. I've read other bloggers who've discussed this phenomenon -- this feeling of hypocrisy/fraud about being a "successful weight loser" when we aren't perfect. So I know I'm not alone.

This encounter also made me ponder what other people around me are thinking when I'm around. I don't really get a lot of comments any more about my weight because in the past year or so my losses have been rather minimal -- more fine tuning than major fat removal. And there are some people -- including immediate family -- who've never even brought up the weight loss. Yes, I've lost 130 pounds and I've got close relatives who act like it's never happened! I don't know if they don't know how to address it, if they think I'll be uncomfortable discussing it, or there's some other issues they're dealing with that I know nothing about. I certainly don't want my weight loss to be my only identity and to be the only thing people ever talk to me about, but I do find it curious that some people never mention it at all.

My Hubby made these incredible muffins yesterday -- and they're healthy! I had one this morning and it was quite good. I don't know the exact recipe, but it contains blueberries, shredded carrot and apple, oat bran, some nuts, and I think some flax meal. There is some brown sugar in the mix, but that could probably be substituted for those of you going sugar-free. We aren't positive on the exact calorie count, but we're guessing somewhere between 100-150 calories per muffin. If anyone is interested in a recipe, I'll ask Hubby to write it down for me and I'll share it.


Lori said...

I always feel like a fraud.

When I go and spend time with my family or my cousin and we eat, I feel weird about having anything that's slightly forbidden. What will they think of me and me eating this? And, I also worry that it will be the beginning of a major binge if I'm not careful. (Funny how being around the relatives bring out that particular fear, isn't it?)

I'm glad you're feeling better. Maybe with time, you can get these weekends down to just one day out of the weekend and not worry about it. You're very good about getting right back on track on Monday mornings. It's just a thought and I know you'll figure it out.

Those muffins sound delicious....good man!

jen said...

I'd love to see that recipe, it sounds marvelous. :)

I think a lot of people shy away from commenting on weight loss because they are afraid of offending. I actually think that it would be nicer if people didn't make such a big deal over the successes because then I wouldn't wonder so much what bad things they were thinking when my weight was up!

Grumpy Chair said...

I second the motion on that muffin recipe!

My weight is always down on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, but come Sunday, I am creeping back up. I'm beginning to think all the exercise and dieting is to compensate for the weekend!