Friday, March 16, 2007

Encourage or Discourage?

I'm so disgusted -- after all the nice weather we had at the beginning of the week, now we're getting pummeled with a Northeaster that will dump 8-12 inches of snow on us in the next 24 hours. Aargh!

It shouldn't be a surprise, because this is typical March weather in my neck of the woods. It's still discouraging after basking in balmy temperatures just a few days ago. But it is encouraging to think that next week is the first official day of Spring. It won't be long now!

I didn't exercise this morning; Mabel woke up at 5:30 and had me distracted and off my routine. But I have a feeling I'll be getting plenty of cardio doing some snow shoveling later today.

Also discouraging was my weight this morning. Things are not looking good for tomorrow's post, but like I said yesterday, I still need to stick to the plan and do the best I can. Yesterday went well, and Hubby made an excellent supper. He grilled strips of eggplant, then made them into a roll filled with a cheese mixture of ricotta, Parmesan and mozzarella, sauteed onion, mushroom and chopped asparagus, all covered in homemade tomato sauce. He even made two batches -- mine with fat free ricotta and mozzarella. Despite my occasional gripes, I know he's a keeper!

After a long weather-induced break, I finally got back in to see my therapist Dr. K. She immediately told me she thought I looked thinner, and I relayed a good bit of what I tell you here. One interesting thing happened: a mother she knows has a daughter (early 20s) who has gained a lot of weight over the past five years, and she is looking for something to motivate her to address it. Dr. K. asked me about the book I had mentioned that inspired me (Frances Kuffel's "Passing For Thin"), and I also told her about the AFG web site.

However, while I offered this information I felt weird about it. While I am eager to help others, the thing is, I don't know if this young lady wants help. Her mother definitely wants her to lose weight, but does the daughter? This is such a touchy subject, and I know because I've been there. While I didn't have a lot of people offering to help me and refer me to books, resources, etc., when I was 300+ pounds, would I have even accepted it? Or would I have been hurt, defensive and rejected all of it?

Like I told Dr. K. yesterday, while I could sit here and regret that I spent my entire 20s in the 300 pound range, I really don't think I was ready at that point to let go of the weight. It took a lot of time, a lot of growing up and therapy to get me to the point where I could address it. I could mourn the "lost" years that I wasn't dating, but what if I had lost a ton of weight and wound up in a horrible abusive relationship? Or I could have shed the weight and taken up another addiction like alcohol or other drugs to take the place of food.

This girl, whoever she is, has her own personal journey going on, and for the time being the food and the fat is serving a purpose. Until she's ready to let go of that or at least start looking for an alternative, I don't know if any book titles or blogs are going to help. While it would be great if my suggestions helped her, I sure hope my "interfering" doesn't backfire and cause more harm than good.

Not sure about my weekend plans since the weather is bad. We were going to take my mother on a trip to Pittsburgh tomorrow as an early birthday present. But now we'll have to wait and see if the worst of the snowfall is over and how the roads are. Hubby loves to drive in the snow and isn't afraid of it, but I hesitate to get on the Pennsylvania Turnpike in bad weather because you never know what an out-of-state driver will do on unfamiliar roads. Our route of the turnpike is especially curvy and treacherous, and it's the site of many nasty accidents. So we'll see. As for Sunday, it would be nice if our Wednesday night dinner with the in-laws would excuse us from going out again with them this week, but it's doubtful. This family loves to eat out, multiple times a day if possible.

Well, I'm going to wrap things up here and get to work, because I have a feeling Mabel will have an early dismissal from school today. I'll see you tomorrow with the official weigh-in.

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