Friday, December 01, 2006

2006 Overview

Well, December's here. One month left in 2006, the beginning of the Christmas season, when the "year in review" shows and magazines come out. A time for tying up loose ends, analyzing our 12-month progress, and getting ready to start the whole thing all over again.

I have to be honest and say I'm not thrilled with 2006. I had all kinds of goals and hopes of reaching an "ideal" weight by June, then October, then realizing it just wasn't gonna' happen. I've managed to lose and gain the same 15-20 pounds all year long, which can feel awfully frustrating and discouraging.

On the other hand, I could also look at this as maintaining a weight loss in the neighborhood of 100-120 pounds for the year. That should certainly qualify as some kind of success, right?

In other yearly achievements, I completed my first 5K, I bought (and wore!) my first size 12/14 clothes since junior high, and survived neck surgery. I exercise at least 5 days a week, raise a child, run a household, and made it through the first year of marriage without any signs of divorce (so there, P@m Anderson and Kid R0ck!). I have a job I find truly satisfying and get more validation from than any job I've had so far.

And there's this blog. I started out skulking around everyone else's blogs, envying their determination, commiserating with their down times, and rooting for them when they succeed. Then I decided to join them, and it's been a wonderful experience. I feel like I've made new friends, even if I've never heard their voices or seen their faces. They've become my cheerleaders, my support group, and it's helped a lot when I feel like I'm faltering.

All of this introspection comes as I near my Week Nine Weigh-In (Week Eight was my by-week, so I'm not stopping or pausing time here). The sad fact is, it would take a miracle (or massive diuretics and laxatives) for me to get back to my Week Seven weight of 216.5 pounds by tomorrow morning. I've done what I could this week to make up for the damage I did over the Thanksgiving blow-out, but the truth is I didn't do my best, and the consequences of my actions are right there on the digital screen.

Part of me wants to chicken out and not post my weight on here tomorrow. But the whole point of this blog is to make me more accountable, right? What's the point of doing all of this if I'm not honest with myself? I'm fighting my perfectionist, all or nothing thinking: "If I don't lose weight -- if I fail -- then I should just give up."

Is it really the end of the world if I gain weight one week? It happens to everyone. This isn't about trying to be perfect. The point is to keep going.

Before I go, it is Friday, which means time for my Weekend Game Plan. Tonight we're going out for dinner as we go out to Christmas shop and look for new bathroom fixtures for our house. Hubby wants to go to Ryan's, which is one of those all-you-can-eat buffets. On Saturday Hubby's deer hunting, so I don't see any food hazards there. Sunday is my church's Advent dinner, a Lutheran covered-dish carb fest that has "diet sabotage" written all over it. I still haven't decided for sure if we're going to this event, because I don't know if I really want to tempt myself more than I have to. We'll have to wait and see.

My game plan? Again, I'm aiming for healthy breakfasts and lunches, EXERCISE, and try my best to eat mindfully in the hazardous situations. Again, I'll try and do my best.

1 comment:

Vickie said...

You could volunteer to WORK at the dinner and therefore be able to eat before you go and then stay on your feet and busy and not eat a thing there. I have done that - cooked/served and it worked for me. It only works for me if I eat first and don't eat ONE bite there - after the first bite - it is open season on the food . . .