Monday, March 01, 2004

Another Five Gone

I couldn't quite believe it -- another five pounds gone! I know the 5-pound a week loss won't last long, so I suppose I better enjoy it. While I did start to feel a little less jiggly, I didn't expect this much of a loss so quickly. The thing is, with these pills I really haven't felt like I've suffered for it, and I've let myself have some treats in the past two weeks.

But the whole thing is, I've managed to go two weeks without a single binge. For two weeks I haven't felt stuffed. A few times I felt full, but not excessively because I've gorged myself. It actually feels sorta' good to let myself get hungry; before I was always eating so much and so often that I never gave my body a chance to let myself know what it needs.

This may be all because of the pills, and it might have been an entirely different story without them. But I really don't care. If they help me come to grips with my insatiable appetite and give me a little extra energy without any harmful side effects, why should I not take them? If this were an antidepressant or a prescription medication, I wouldn't be having this major debate. I think I'm going to go ahead and stay on them indefinitely, because they're cheap enough and if they still do what they do without problems, it'd be foolish not to give myself all the help I can get.

I told my mother about the loss and I got her typical response, "keep it up," but it came across (like it always has) that what I've done so far just isn't good enough. I know that's my own negative spin, and it ties in with my fleeting thoughts of "this is going to take forever" and "how am I ever going to keep it up that long?" Like I've said before, I need to get the "one day at a time" belief ingrained in my head. FlyLady says that once you do something for 27 days it becomes habit. Well, I'm halfway to that point, so maybe it's just a matter of time.

I did think to myself (after reading another one of those frustrating and aggravating gastric bypass articles) that I do really feel like I've had some kind of mental bypass or bypass without surgery, because even though I do have some fleeting moments, I really feel different now -- in a better way

1 comment:

Andrea K said...

Again, more lack of faith in myself. I give so much credit to those dumb pills, when it's blatantly obvious that I've got the weight loss trifecta in full swing: exercise, portions, and staying mindful.

By the way, for those of you keeping score, this loss took me down to 300 pounds.