It's my 18th day of "sobriety" and I've now lost 15 pounds -- something I consider quite amazing. I weighed myself today (Friday) a few days early because I knew I'd be going out to dinner tonight and tomorrow night. I went with J & M & B to the Fish Fry -- yes, with lots of fried fish. But despite the breaded fattiness, I feel I abstained from compulsive/binge eating by 1. refraining from extra side dishes I didn't really need; 2. I only got half a piece of bread and I shared it with Mabel (I normally would have eaten several pieces myself); 3. I didn't load Mabel's plate up with extra food for myself; 4. I didn't eat anything off her plate; 5. I didn't get any desserts because 6. I finished feeling full, not stuffed.
I can tell, though, that I feel kind of dopey/tired, even kind of drugged after that heavy meal. I've been eating so light lately, and I guess I wasn't imagining it when I thought I felt more alert and energetic. Although I did think that yesterday I didn't eat quite enough and felt sort of weak, and I knew I had to make sure not to let myself get too hungry or start some kind of starvation diet, because that's heading down a dangerous road.
But I'll admit it's pretty exciting to be back to my re-relapse weight so quickly. Now the trick will be to get past this point, which has been my stalling point for the past -- oh, six or seven years! I think once I get past that road block point -- hopefully within the next month -- I'll be on my way to making these changes in eating a permanent thing. If I can abstain from binging, not consider the occasional big meal a setback or failure and stay away from the "all or nothing" mentality, I think I might actually be able to lose a considerable amount of weight and (gulp) keep it off! And live in a state of recovery from food, too!
For now, my next focus is tomorrow night at the White House [not where the president lives; it's a local restaurant] with my friends. I think if I stay away from the fried food, limit my bread/starch consumption and eat till I'm full, then I'll be okay. Really, I will be okay...
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Wow, those were the days, huh? Every week, five pounds gone. It sure goes a heck of a lot slower now. That was mile marker 295, by the way -- goodbye to the 300s!
Here I thought my weekend game plans were a new development. I started doing them way back at the start! But I went out a heck of a lot less back then, so it wasn't a constant challenge and temptation like it is now.
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