Another day okay. My goodie for the day was a steak and cheese sandwich, which I had a hard time not feeling guilty about. But I did fine the rest of the day -- resisted deviating from my three small portioned, well-balanced meals.
Part of me thinks this all sounds so mamby-pamby; rather, I'm just on another diet. That I've joined the countless millions who delude themselves into thinking these diets work. Am I deluding myself once again, after all these years? Is this time really different? Or will I once again slip back into my old habits? But, can I really go back now, realizing and knowing what I know now? That I was no different than the alcoholic on a drinking spree, though my addiction is the overeating, not the food itself. While one part of myself would like like to lose weight, another part knows that I could also find satisfaction in just giving up the mass consuming. Really.
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This was a constant debate I had with myself the first year: am I just kidding myself that this can ever work?
But the end of this entry was the crucial difference from the last times I tried to lose weight. I realized the most important part was breaking my addiction to overeating. Once I accepted that, and more importantly, accepted myself, it made everything work.
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