No Loss, No Gain

Well, I weighed myself today, expecting some loss, and I was disappointed to have none. I know, I've lost 15 pounds in three weeks, which is amazing, and it isn't a bad thing for my body to regroup for a little bit. But I had a feeling I'd get stuck at this point, which is where I've gotten stuck for several years now, and I wonder if the barrier is more emotional than physical. I'm right at the point, like I always do, where the gung-ho attitude is faltering and the frustration begins.

But, in all honesty, I know that I ate a lot more starch (potatoes, pasta) this week and eating more at lunch. The pasta -- ravioli -- was expiring this week, and while I've been eating is in controlled servings, it was still "extra," and it felt like a treat, and it certainly felt that way going down.

I don't know if I'll ever get over the allure, the sensuousness of food. Maybe despite any kind of behavioral therapy, I may always be seduced by it.

Like I sort of guessed, this would start getting harder as time went on. Now the real work, the real struggle begins. When the weight loss is slower, the temptations grow larger, the urge to give up and go back to my old behavior grows and becomes harder to resist.

But I have to think of the benefits, some of which I'm feeling already. Now that I'm not overeating, the increasing indigestion I was experiencing has vanished. I was starting to get this weird feeling in my throat, as if I was starting to choke after I ate, but that's all gone, too. Because I'm not drinking non-stop to wash down all the copious amounts of food, I'm not getting up once or even twice a night to pee, and of course my #2s have decreased, and not having what I thought were possible symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome. Just those alone should tell me that my life is definitely better without the overeating. But I have to think too about lowering my cholesterol and triglyceride levels, easing the burden of my weak and overtaxes hips, knees and ankles.

Of course, this isn't just about weight loss -- it's first and foremost lots of physical activity and eating healthy food in healthy portions.

I don't want to go on the Atk!ns bandwagon and eliminate every single carb out of my diet. But I do think that if I want to get past this "set point" I need to go back to greatly reducing them -- which means cutting back again on the potatoes and pasta. I mean, otherwise I've been thrilled with my progress -- this week I started writing down all my meals and snacks, and rather than making me feel controlled or punished, I think it's helping me figure out how to make my daily intake more balanced. It makes me think about what I'm eating, and in the case of this week, see what I need to increase or decrease to get the results I want.

One thing that's helping me is a mantra I picked up from the Wayne Dyer program: "I am whole, I am perfect as God created me." For some reason, I find it very affirming, very positive, and also mood lifting.