Yes, I shouldn't have done it, but I weighed myself again today, but I was shocked to see 290, and even double and triple checked (resetting the scale) to make sure.
That's 20 pounds in 26 days -- almost a pound a day! It sounds kinda' scary, too good to be true. But it hasn't been a cake walk (literally!). I've had to really think -- planning meals, analyzing myself through urges to binge, and keeping out the negative thoughts in my head. I've also been working out at the gym four days a week and trying to be active on my "off" days. My treadmill arrived Thursday and I'm going to slowly build up to a daily brisk walk on that, too.
Should I really make these numbers on the scale my only barometer of success? I guess that's why I'm including my "abstinence days" with the date, too, as another measure of my progress. I worry a lot that I'm getting even more obsessed with food -- but maybe I'm just taking the obsession that's always been there and slowly turning it around, and hopefully with therapy and other forms of help I can get myself free of it. Think positive.
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This still happens to me: I don't lose on the day I pick for my weigh-in and drop the pounds a day or two later.
I also find it so comically curious that my thoughts are more positive when I'm struggling, but when things go well, I get negative and start worrying about when things are going to go wrong. Such mixed up logic!
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