Emotional Eating

I readily admit that I have a LOT of issues when it comes to food and weight. Yesterday I started reading "Body Intelligence" (I copied this pic from Amazon.com -- go there to read more about it), and it's made me realize just how much I'm driven by food and eating.

The book (look it up at http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0071442065/ref=sib_dp_pt/104-6802255-6864731#reader-link) goes over the external and emotional cues people have that lead them to eat when they're not really hungry. It was hard for me to find cues I didn't have! I'm affected by the sight and smells of food, by the ads on TV, by the time on the clock. I eat when I'm sad, anxious, lonely, depressed, and especially when I'm happy!

The one emotion I don't eat through is anger. Now in the past (pre-therapy) when I repressed a lot of my angry feelings, I did wind up eating because that anger got twisted into the sad, lonely and depressed feelings mentioned above. But somewhere in the late 1990s I started discovering that if I let myself feel my anger and express it, the last thing I wanted to do was eat. I might want to clean my house from top to bottom or rant and rave on the phone to a confidant, but I learned to own my anger and not blot it out with sugar and fat.

So should it come as any surprise that I do my healthiest eating when I've got a little anger to stoke the fire? I felt it yesterday for sure when I went with my family to watch my nephew play at a junior high football game. While everyone else bought hamburgers and fries, washed down with sugary soda, I took out my apple and seltzer water I brought with me. When I'm in a negative frame of mind I get resentful about a situation like this, with thoughts of self-pity and "why me" attitude. But when I'm in the right mindset, I actually get a stubborn, slightly peeved attitude of "I'm going to eat healthy despite these temptations!" After the game we went out to dinner (there will definitely be a future post on my food-centric family), and again, while everyone else ordered fatty foods, I hit the healthy food section of the menu and ordered what turned out to be a very satisfying meal.

What puzzles me is why some days I can achieve this attitude, and then some days I cave in to whatever temptation or cue comes my way. It's more than willpower, because it's so tied into my emotional state. Because I can say no to buying the box of chocolate cupcakes and feel really good about it that I'm taking care of my body, or I can feel really deprived and sorry for myself.
If I can ever figure out how to eliminate or greatly reduce those negative moments, then I think I'll be able to reach my "onederful" goal and maintain it without tortuous work.

Okay, so here's the Day 2 tally: I ate very, very well (3 meals and 2 snacks, all very balanced and healthy food), didn't get too hungry and didn't feel deprived. The knee was fairly bothersome during the day, but after some ibuprofen, some heat and then some Biofreeze (my husband's cure-all for sore muscles and joints), it feels a lot better this morning, even after a 45-minute bike ride. I really want to get back to the treadmill because I can work up a sweat much better. But I know I need to make sure my knee is back to full capacity until I do.

Today shouldn't provide too many challenges, but that's typical for me. I do great during the week, but then the weekends come and I'm stuck in the mire of parties, festivals, etc., that lead me astray. But I need to focus on today and deal with those issues when I get to them.