Peachy Keen

I was getting ready to start typing this post when I decided to try one of the donut peaches my husband picked yesterday at a nearby orchard. I took a bite and proceeded to have peach juice squirt down my leg and on the plastic mat at my desk, and I had to run to the restroom to get paper towels to clean up!

Donut peaches are by far my favorite peach, and unfortunately they're the most expensive. I don't buy them in the grocery stores because I can't justify paying almost a dollar each for these things. But when we can get them at the orchard, hmmm boy, talk about a little piece of heaven! They're called donut because they're flatter than the typical peach and indented in the middle, just like a donut. They are so sweet and fragrant and just the right size for a quick little snack.

I notice I haven't been posting daily and have been down to every other day. I could use the excuse that Hubby was doing the final layers of Varathane on the foyer floor yesterday and I couldn't access the computer again, but I really couldn't think of anything important to relate. I worked on the counted cross stitch, played with the dogs, took Mabel to gymnastics. Normal everyday things.

Things just aren't bothering me as much. I suppose that's the medicine doing its magic. I'm not worrying myself to death about what I weigh, I'm not spazzing over my eating and I'm not driven to binge. But the sad thing is, I almost miss some of my over-reaction because it does get me motivated. When I freak out over the house being messy, it propels me to clean it thoroughly. Now it's like, "Oh well, I'll get to it eventually." I guess there's a fine line between letting things be and apathy, and I've got to fine tune that balance.

For example, last week I only walked once, and while I felt a little bad about not exercising, I didn't beat myself up about it. I guess it was because in my mind I knew I'd get back to it, because I honestly enjoy it. Now that my sister-in-law is on vacation I don't have to get up quite as early, so it's not so hard to pry myself out of bed. There's something about exploring my little town at sunrise by foot and being outside that makes me feel more connected to the world. The rest of the morning I feel more energized and awake when I take that time to get my body moving and my heart pumping after a night of rest. So there was really no point in smacking myself around for taking a week off.

As for the food? Well, I do kind of play Mother with myself sometimes when I see what food choices I've been making lately. But I've been permissive with myself and letting myself work through this legalization phase of Intuitive Eating. And as I suspected, I'm not permanently craving cookies and cake. On Sunday I made a beeline for the strawberries and blueberries, and of course today I'm having my love affair with donut peaches. I know I have to work through this period where I'm still dealing with thoughts of deprivation and need to allow myself to have what I want, and with enough time and patience my love of all kinds of food, healthy and not-as-healthy, will balance out.

I should find contentment in things being peachy keen right now and not wish for my old drama. It sure is a lot easier living this way.