Saturday, July 14, 2007

Observation Mode

It's been a very social 24 hours with lots of eating and food, yet I've been doing okay.

I went out with the gang again for one of our wing nights. As usual, it was the cheese fries, the fried breaded zucchini, of course the chicken wings, washed down with soda or beer, then followed by a trip to another restaurant for dessert.

I found myself in observation mode a lot during the meal, able to consider the food and my appetite very well and not under siege by the usual concerns of "how many calories is that," "how can I resist eating it all," or "poor me, I can't eat like they do." I found myself easily resisting the requests of several people (of course the thinnest ones there) to help them eat their food. That's another oddity I hadn't noticed before -- the thinnest people there ordered the most food; in fact I was thunderstruck by the one couple who came, the most physically fit of the whole group, who usually don't come with us. They ordered two dozen wings as an appetizer, then also had a huge calzone and an enormous fried fish sandwich as their entrees. I didn't notice if they ate it all, but I was astounded at the pile of food surrounding them.

I ordered six wings, ate one piece of fried zucchini, and probably about a dozen of the fries. And about 1/3 of a glass of beer (they ordered a pitcher). This sounds like a lot of food, but compared to everyone else it must not have been, because I was done before everyone else. I was able to sit there feeling pleasantly full (I could tell by the last wing that I didn't want to eat anymore) and didn't feel the urge to pick at things out of nervousness or boredom.

As for the dessert run, Hubby and I both agreed that we weren't hungry, and Mabel was tired and wanted to go home, so we were naughty and called one of the gang on the cell phone and told them Mabel was asleep, so we wouldn't be joining them. Hubby and I didn't want to sit there and order nothing while everyone was slurping down their ice cream or pie, and since Mabel wasn't in the mood either it was an easy decision to skip it. Instead of feeling deprived, it actually felt like a relief.

This morning we were out bright and early to meet four of my friends, two from around here and two from out of town who are staying at our house tonight. We went to this little town in our county that is predominately Amish and Mennonite for their weekly Farmer's Market. First we went to the little country store nearby the market, which is famous for its doughnuts. I personally don't like them and didn't get any, but instead found my favorite cookies this store makes, orange with orange icing with real orange zest. Thank goodness they didn't have any of the orange sweet rolls in stock, because they are one of my big binge foods. It has the same icing as the cookies, but for some reason the rolls are more addictive to me. I also got my favorite trail mix combination, called Banana Split, but decided to go with the single serving bag instead of the multi-serving bag.

The Farmer's Market was loaded with Amish and Mennonite as well as us "English" vendors selling all kinds of things: fresh produce, baked goods, crafts, toys, antiques, and even hunting accessories. Mabel found a great deal on a Boyds Bear, and I bought my mom some of the little figurines you can get from the Red Rose Tea company that she doesn't have yet.

One disturbing find during our travels in the flea market section of the market: some guy had amongst his antiques a collar and shackles used by a slave trade company in Virginia in 1854. My one friend, ever the skeptic, wondered if they were knock-offs, because something like that should be in some museum somewhere, not at some little country farmer's market. Whether these items were real or reproductions, I couldn't imagine displaying something so inhumane and a sad reminder of a terrible part of our past.

Anyway, after our bargain shopping, we went off to breakfast. We went to this quaint Mennonite restaurant/inn that my grandma used to take me to when I was little. Mabel and I ordered the breakfast buffet, while the rest of our friends ordered off the menu. My daughter always does better when she can get little tastes of a lot of different things, and I've discovered I am getting more like her. We both got small portions of a variety of different things, and what we liked we ate, and what we didn't we left behind.

Again, I found it easy to keep tabs on myself during this meal; I found myself getting to a point where I was starting to fill up and began to figure out in my head what to leave behind so I could have a few bites of something else. I ate what I considered to be the "best bites" of each item and left the rest alone.

So, you may be asking yourself, as I am, if this relative ease is due to the new medication. It might be. I know I'm feeling calmer, despite a few twinges of anxiety here and there throughout the day. It'll be interesting to see what happens.

Gotta' go. My friends have arrived and I have to get ready for dinner.


Anonymous said...

For whatever reason, this is wonderful progress. If it is the medication 'assisting' you, then I say its helping you to settle into IE so bravo! I think its really all YOU and when not driven by whatever demons beset you in the immediate past, you are able to find that YES you can do this, all to your own credit too :)

I got to say I am envious you for your delightful outings. One thing our area is nearly totally devoid of is places to eat out. The few that are here are so blah and overpriced to boot! So I am 'forced ' to cook and bake for us myself (which I like to begin with :).

Take care - ehugs, Katcha

LMM said...

Congrats on paying attention to what you are feeling in regards to hunger and wants - sounds like you have had an amazing busy weekend.