One Macaroon

I've been meaning to blog all day today, but I'm just so freakin' tired that I can't really form coherent thoughts. In fact, it took me three times to type in my password right here at Blogger, so that proves how dopey I am.

I'm tired because I didn't get to bed until, oh, 2 a.m.-ish. The drive home from Pittsburgh was a little slow due to traffic not only from our show, but from the Pirates game, which was being held right across the river at PNC Park.

We had such a nice trip. We went to my own secular mecca, Whole Foods. We found my broccoli rabe, which we just can't find in our rural W@l-Mart world. I first tried this stuff last year when I visited friends in Philadelphia on a sandwich with roasted pork loin and provolone. But this stuff is great just sauteed with some garlic, too. I'm told it practically grows like a weed in New Jersey, so I'm hoping we can track down some seeds and try to grow our own next year. We struck out on the Thai Basil, so I'm thinking we may need to try to find seeds for this, too. I also loaded up on some of my favorite salad bar yummies -- whole grain tabbouleh, wheatberry salad, charred eggplant salad, and I found a new one, spicy marinated tempeh. I didn't get to eat any of them today; I'm thinking lunch tomorrow, unless I have to go out with the in-laws. In that case I'm hoping it will all keep until Monday.

I also splurged in the bakery section on two blueberry scones and a bag of my all-time favorites, their macaroon combo (almond, coconut and chocolate-coconut). The IE must be working, because after previous trips to WF I have scarfed down all my finds within the first 24 hours. This time I don't feel that urgency to eat all of it NOW, and I'm leisurely stretching it out.

Dinner was fantastic. Lidia's was a beautiful restaurant, the service was spectacular, and the food was incredible. The bread bowl was a combination of crusty Italian slices, rosemary foccacia, and some spicy cheesy bread sticks that knocked your socks off. They came with two bean spreads -- one was garbanzo with pesto and the other cannelloni with kalamata olives. Amazing.

Both Hubby and I went with the house special, an all-you-can eat pasta tasting of three different dishes which also included a Caesar salad a la Lidia, and Tirimisu for dessert. Again, the IE seemed to work. I did try one piece each of the breads (fortunately they were small pieces), but when I got to the salad I only ate half of it, knowing I had to save room for the pastas. They started you out with samples of the three different kinds (fettuccine with veal Bolognese, fusili Genevese with green beans and potatoes, and the best of the three, goat cheese ravioli in a thyme-infused butter sauce. But after those three samples, when they asked you which one you wanted more of, I couldn't do it. I knew dessert was still coming, so I fought my instincts to get my money's worth and passed on extras.

I was definitely full when we left, but I knew I could have been soooo much fuller. I was pleased that none of it felt forced or kick-started any diet mentality or feelings of deprivation.

The comedy show was hilarious. There were three warm-up acts that all made us laugh, then the headliner came on-- Artie Lange, sidekick on the Howard Stern Show -- and gave us a great show, too. I felt a little bad for Hubby, because all the comedians made references to the Stern Show, and he doesn't listen to it, only knowing a little of what I bring up once in a great while. So he didn't get all the references and jokes, but there were enough generic jokes to keep him amused.

In yet another odd coincidence in my life, the people sitting directly in front of us were originally from our area, and not only had the husband worked with some friends of mine, but I had taken some voice lessons from a relative of his when I was in high school.

The coolest thing was striking up a conversation about the Stern show with these people. No one else in my life listens to it, so I don't really have anyone to do any "water cooler chat" with after listening to it. I tell Hubby a few things, but I can tell he isn't interested enough to start listening himself. I realized it felt familiar to the experience I have online of talking to people here on the blogs about losing weight and now Intuitive Eating. It's so validating to find others who have experienced the same things I have, who understand what I'm going through, who can find the humor in the same things I do.

I did blow the IE thing a little at the end of the night when we stopped for gas before hitting the turnpike. It had been six hours since our meal and I was feeling a little hungry and wanted some caffeine to keep me awake for the ride home, so we stopped at a convenience store, and I wound up getting coffee and two doughnuts, and I ate both. I really should have stopped at one, but I didn't. And I really shouldn't have drank the coffee, because it gave me indigestion like coffee sometimes will. Maybe someday I'll learn.

Today's been a little tempting with all the goodies in the house and being so tired -- I only got about 5.5 hours of sleep, which is way below my norm -- but I haven't felt the compulsion to binge at all, which is good news. The good stuff's here and I'm aware of it, but again, that desire to eat it all as quickly as I can isn't there, mainly because I'm not going back on "the diet" in the near future. Instead of eating all the macaroons today, I've had one. Uno. Un. Ein. Totally bizarre.

So although I know I'm not eating the greatest right now -- as far as calories and fat and carbs go -- I'm happy to see a decrease in the compulsive thoughts and desires to binge. I may be a little heavier than I'd like, but I realize this process takes time, and I need to be patient. This is progress, and I know it.