Sunday, June 03, 2007

Letting Go

Never got a chance to post yesterday. I worked my butt off yesterday transferring the stuff from my old house's attic to my new house, and it was a six-hour ordeal that left me physically exhausted. Fortunately I had some help, but it was still a ton of stair climbing and carrying boxes and lots of time in a very hot, sauna-like attic. There was lots of sweating, lots of water drinking, and lots of hoping it would soon be over.

Today I have to go through the boxes I didn't take to the attic and go through them for the old give away/throw away/keep process. I am regularly horrified at the amount of stuff I've collected in my relatively short life, and for the past seven years I have been doing my best to slowly minimize the clutter in my life.

I know in the last month I have rid myself of a ton of clothes from my fatter days, as well as piles of my daughter's clothes that are now too small. It's frightening how many pieces of clothing we've amassed, especially my daughter. But for the first five years she had one Grandma who bought all kinds of clothes for her, and now she has two, and the newer one seems to have taken the lead in this contest.

And books! I have so many books, and as I begin to go through the boxes intending to rid myself of most of them, when I look at them it pains me to think of giving them away. But let's face it: there are very, very few I'll ever read again, and instead of them collecting dust on a shelf or moldering in some cardboard box, doesn't it make more sense to pass them on for someone else to enjoy?

You could say it's a lot like weight: it's so easy to collect it, but oh so hard to get rid of it. The same thing goes for old beliefs and behaviors. Once a certain thought or habit gets ingrained in our heads, it's pretty difficult to change them and make new ones stick.

Another good thing about yesterday's hard work (other than finally completing a project I've been procrastinating over) was that it didn't give me time to even think about binge eating. I definitely ate, but I was too preoccupied and later too tired to even consider doing it compulsively or emotionally. Not that I always want to work that hard every weekend, but it does illustrate that when I'm idle my thoughts turn to food to entertain myself.

So let's hope today's project keeps me busy enough to bypass any binge thoughts, too. Because for every weekend I can go binge-free, it's another step toward making new, healthier habits and another step further in recovery. And maybe I'll have less stuff in my house, too!


Lori said...

Books. I have too many of them myself and I have purged a fair number of them. The only ones I regret where the ones when I HAD to sell them to make some money (we had some lean times in my marriage).

There's always a library with interlibrary loans if there's something you truly need.

Clothes...I have to go through my own pile but it's more a matter of putting the stuff away that I got yesterday.

I hope you feel better and I'm glad you were busy. Idle hands and all that.

Talk to you later -- thanks for another great post.

Joc said...

I always feel so much better when I release a lot of my clutter, its like being able to breath again after holding my breath under water for a long time.

And well done on your last post regarding the scales, it sound like you are finding ways to put the scales in the proper perspective, rather than letting them set your agenda. Well done.

Grumpy Chair said...

I love books too. Before moving to Houston, I finally purged them and kept only the ones I truly love and would like for the kids to read one day.

And clothes. The kids have a lot, but luckily, Fang Jr. is at the 10/12 size which he probably will be at for the next year.