Monday, June 04, 2007

The Diet Mentality Alarm System

Another busy day yesterday. I skipped church, which I probably shouldn't have, and for once we didn't go out for one of our prolonged lunch trips, so I had the whole day to work around the house. I love days like that; I work at one project for a little while, take a little break then putter around on another chore for a while. I get so much done that way but it doesn't feel so laborious because I take all these little moments in between to relax.

And because I had so many little things to do and the time to do them, I didn't feel driven to binge, either. I definitely ate, but it never turned into overeating or compulsive drives. I had a big lunch and felt a little too full, which can sometimes lead me into What The Hell eating behavior, but instead I went back to work and I wound up not eating again for almost 6 hours. Whereas if I had a small lunch, I would have gotten hungry three hours later and eaten a snack. So I figured it balanced out in the end.

I did have a little uncomfortable moment that evening. I got out our suitcases and started packing for our trip to Disney World, which starts a week from today! I started putting outfits together, some extras to change into for supper (because you know we'll be sweating in that Florida heat all day), and various toiletries. Then I got out the bathing suits. I decided to try them on, like I did with several other articles of clothing, just to make sure they fit right before I pack them. As for the fit, some were snugger and some looser than others, so I picked the two that felt the most comfortable.

The problem was looking in the mirror as I tried them on. While I really haven't gained that much weight in the last couple months, I think every ounce of it went right to my abdomen. I looked at my belly in those swimsuits and started to feel bad about not reaching my goal of getting to the Onederfuls by this trip. I had been so sure I was going to make it, but it just wasn't meant to be.

Then I started to think, "Well, if you really cut back this week and did the Pilates tape every day, maybe you could work a big chunk of it off."

Fortunately, the Diet Mentality Alarm System started going off in my head. "Alert! Alert! Destructive dieting thoughts coming into play! Achtung!"

I knew these thoughts weren't beneficial to my work with IE. I need to be accepting of my body, even if it isn't meeting some cultural standard. I know what would happen if I decided to severely restrict my food and overexercise this week; I would wind up compensating next week in Disney with rebound overeating and make myself miserable.

While I know I won't have the best body by the pool, I know I won't have the worst, either. If anything, I'll just be one of many moms trying not to feel self-conscious about my jiggly upper arms, round bellies and jelly-filled thighs. Most importantly, I don't want to be one of those moms who won't even get in a suit and spend time with my family in the pool just because I don't have a perfect body. I'd rather be imperfect and a part of the fun.

And if I stick with IE and eat reasonably this week, the chances are I'll have an easier time of eating reasonably next week, too, because I won't be "treating" myself after a week of deprivation and restriction.

The best part was, not only did I push away the diet mentality, but I was also able to keep myself from eating a bunch of junk last night in response to feeling down about my body -- again, WTH eating. And then I sat down to watch "The Sopranos" and forgot all about eating and bathing suits. What a wild episode! I'll be so sad in two weeks when this show's over for good, but I don't know if I can take much more turmoil!


Grumpy Chair said...

How fun!!! I took Fang Jr. when he was 5 (Fang had started a new job and did not have vacation time) and it was a great bonding time for us.

I hear you on the Diet mentality alarm. I have to catch myself sometimes to not try some stupid fast to get rid of the weight regained.

The eight pounds regained, looks like 30 and feels like 30. I can really see it in my face, belly and gasp . . . bottom. But I'm working it off the right way, eating healthy and exercising again.

LMM said...

I had a similar 'diet mentality turn into diet alarm' moment this weekend. First instinct was to diet, second was to think it through.
Disney World sounds like sooo much fun, hoping to get our kids there soon.
PS I love your blog, would you mind if I linked to yours on my blog (that is if I can figure out how to do that)?

Ty said...

You are doing such a great job!

Kelly Goode said...

It shouldn't be too hard to watch your diet at Disney World. Did you know they actually took trans-fat items off their menus? They also have fruit stands and vegetables offered many times for side dishes. Enjoy your vacation! For more tips, check out my blog at and my book, "A Mom's Miserly Guide: Disney, Orlando, Sea World, Universal on $25 a Day!
Kelly Goode

Kelly Goode said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Andrea K said...

lmm, you may certainly link to my blog -- if you notice my sidebar, I've already linked yours, too! Thanks for the compliment on the blog.

Joc said...

That diet mentality is a persistant thing isnt it? I think your attitude to this is great, and I love that you are planning on having a great time with your family rather than worrying about what you look like.

I did this on my last beach holiday and had the best time I had had in years.

Good for you.

Lori said...

I think you're doing great; and I bet you do look good. I'm so excited about your trip and I hope you all have a fabulous time.

As for the swimsuit, don't worry about it. No one is noticing you and besides, you're out of town. That used to be my rule for wearing a bathing suit when I was at my heaviest. "Hey I'm out of town! No one knows me!"