The Diet Mentality Alarm System

Another busy day yesterday. I skipped church, which I probably shouldn't have, and for once we didn't go out for one of our prolonged lunch trips, so I had the whole day to work around the house. I love days like that; I work at one project for a little while, take a little break then putter around on another chore for a while. I get so much done that way but it doesn't feel so laborious because I take all these little moments in between to relax.

And because I had so many little things to do and the time to do them, I didn't feel driven to binge, either. I definitely ate, but it never turned into overeating or compulsive drives. I had a big lunch and felt a little too full, which can sometimes lead me into What The Hell eating behavior, but instead I went back to work and I wound up not eating again for almost 6 hours. Whereas if I had a small lunch, I would have gotten hungry three hours later and eaten a snack. So I figured it balanced out in the end.

I did have a little uncomfortable moment that evening. I got out our suitcases and started packing for our trip to Disney World, which starts a week from today! I started putting outfits together, some extras to change into for supper (because you know we'll be sweating in that Florida heat all day), and various toiletries. Then I got out the bathing suits. I decided to try them on, like I did with several other articles of clothing, just to make sure they fit right before I pack them. As for the fit, some were snugger and some looser than others, so I picked the two that felt the most comfortable.

The problem was looking in the mirror as I tried them on. While I really haven't gained that much weight in the last couple months, I think every ounce of it went right to my abdomen. I looked at my belly in those swimsuits and started to feel bad about not reaching my goal of getting to the Onederfuls by this trip. I had been so sure I was going to make it, but it just wasn't meant to be.

Then I started to think, "Well, if you really cut back this week and did the Pilates tape every day, maybe you could work a big chunk of it off."

Fortunately, the Diet Mentality Alarm System started going off in my head. "Alert! Alert! Destructive dieting thoughts coming into play! Achtung!"

I knew these thoughts weren't beneficial to my work with IE. I need to be accepting of my body, even if it isn't meeting some cultural standard. I know what would happen if I decided to severely restrict my food and overexercise this week; I would wind up compensating next week in Disney with rebound overeating and make myself miserable.

While I know I won't have the best body by the pool, I know I won't have the worst, either. If anything, I'll just be one of many moms trying not to feel self-conscious about my jiggly upper arms, round bellies and jelly-filled thighs. Most importantly, I don't want to be one of those moms who won't even get in a suit and spend time with my family in the pool just because I don't have a perfect body. I'd rather be imperfect and a part of the fun.

And if I stick with IE and eat reasonably this week, the chances are I'll have an easier time of eating reasonably next week, too, because I won't be "treating" myself after a week of deprivation and restriction.

The best part was, not only did I push away the diet mentality, but I was also able to keep myself from eating a bunch of junk last night in response to feeling down about my body -- again, WTH eating. And then I sat down to watch "The Sopranos" and forgot all about eating and bathing suits. What a wild episode! I'll be so sad in two weeks when this show's over for good, but I don't know if I can take much more turmoil!