Sunday, June 10, 2007

So Long, Farewell...

I've been playing around with my new cell phone, which can take pictures, and those pictures can be stored on a card reader and transferred to my computer lickety-split. Mabel took these pictures of the ever-growing puppies (Pearl's the black one, Bruno the yellow one), and I'm figuring out how to do all the technical stuff.

This is going to be great, because now I won't have to lug my digital camera everywhere in WDW. I can take pictures with the cell phone and I'll know they'll be just as nice. It's so cool being technological!
Today's the last minute stuff -- mopping the floors, final loads of laundry, giving our perishable food away, packing up the last minute essentials. I had to run to my office because I forgot to do something I said I'd do, plus I dropped off another box of books for a local organization's yearly book sale.
I've gotten rid of a heck of a lot of stuff the last few weeks. The scary thing is, there's so much more still left here lingering around! But I'll keep working at it.
I'm really not that happy with my eating this weekend. It hasn't been full-blown binge behavior, but it's been so mindless and grazing. I don't feel vigilant at all about honoring my body's hunger and fullness signals.
In fact, I almost feel like I'm eating like I used to, long before I started to lose the weight. The thing is, back then, even though I was at a much higher weight, it stayed very stable for many years. I know I'm not eating as much as I did back then -- yesterday's food intake was overeating for me now, but would have been a light day for me four or five years ago. And at supper last night I only ate half of my supper and took the rest home -- definitely new behavior.
I'm talking more about the nonchalance of eating, picking at things here and there as my appetite and cravings lead the way. I don't know if this is good news or bad news. It's good in that I'm not obsessing about calories and carbs and panicking about a poor weigh-in tomorrow morning. I just worry that not being tuned in to my satiety signals, etc., means I'm not doing IE right.
I know, I know, that's perfectionism rearing its ugly head again. I'm six weeks into this process, and I'm going through a lot of changes, a lot of withdrawal from behaviors I got used to, and I should expect to be uncomfortable and a little anxious as I work through it. I've got the double whammy right now of the stress of preparing for vacation and PMS, too.
Things will calm down. My eating is a little chaotic right now, but so is my life. Once this vacation is underway, then over, the summer will slow down a lot, and I'll be able to get back into some normal routines.
I'm going to take a little notebook with me and jot down some thoughts throughout the week and post them here when I get back. I have to admit I'm really going to miss posting here every day, as well as checking in on those blogs I've grown addicted to -- many of which are listed on the right side of this page.
Wish us nice weather and lots of photo opportunities with Disney characters! I'll be thinking of you, my friendly commenters!


BigAssBelle said...

I just worry that not being tuned in to my satiety signals, etc., means I'm not doing IE right.

i think that's just the old diet thing rearing its head. all people, recovering people and regular people, have days when the food's kind of crazy. the difference now is that a crazy day doesn't make me have a crazy week or month or year.

i spent two days sitting in my dad's hospital room ~ something which makes me puffy and stiff and bloated anyway ~ and i ate chocolate. and anything else that came into the room. i just did. but once i got out of there, i didn't. the puff and bloat and stiffness went away. it fell back into place because i didn't jump onto a restrictive diet and just allowed sanity to return.

hoping you're feeling better about it all by now. i think you're doing great.

Anonymous said...

First I want to say that your puppies are so sweet! We have a pair of dogs as well and while they are a handful at times, we enjoy their love and 'entertainment' SO MUCH!

Andrea, you are a marvel to be taking IE under your belt so well! I am envious or maybe just a little (make that BIG - lol) behind.

I trust your Disneyworld trip was fun to the max and will be looking forward to your post when you return - ehugs, Katcha