Bogged Down

Feeling so incredibly tired this morning! I took a Benadryl last night because my eyes were itchy (I'm allergic to everything) and I figured since I hadn't been sleeping that well this past week, I'd take one. Because normally one doesn't totally knock me out, it just helps me sleep a little more soundly.

But this morning I feel like I'm dragging a fifty-pound bag over my shoulder. I still walked on the treadmill, ate my usual breakfast and did my usual routine. But I'm still sitting here wanting to lay my head on my desk and close my eyes. This isn't usual for me, so I'm worried that the stress of this past week has worn me down, which can often lead to me getting sick. It's definitely happened to me before. My body and health are definitely affected by the levels of stress in my life, and my immunity is definitely lowered by increased strife in my mind.

I've been doing a few unofficial weighs this week and not thrilled with what I'm seeing. It's very possible that my weigh-in tomorrow may be a little disappointing. But let's face facts: for the past six weeks I have consistently lost on average two pounds a week. It may very well be time for a little plateau, or at least slowing down a little. I may also be pleasantly surprised tomorrow. I guess I just have to wait and see.

I know I'm getting pessimistic, and I need to do something about it. It's this attitude of "I'll never be able to lose weight" that starts to bog me down. Yes, I'm setting myself up for a double challenge now, trying to lose weight during the holidays AND trying to move. But does that mean I have to wave the white flag and just give up? Maybe there are different goals I can look to right now. I've heard the phrase "fake it until you make it" or something like that. If I can just keep doing what I'm doing -- keep trying -- then eventually it should produce some results. I may stumble often, and it'll take me longer than I'd like, but the important thing is it'll still happen.

So maybe I don't hit the Onederfuls by Dec. 31. If I can get close, if I can keep from gaining weight, it would be better than the alternative. I need to be stubborn and repetitive; I need to stick to as many of my healthy routines as I can, and keep starting back up if I falter.

I packed two boxes of books, then starting working on a project I've been procrasting about: sorting out my photos and making albums. Yesterday I worked on two boxes crammed full of treasures; one was old photographs of my grandmother's, the other momentoes from my past. I sorted Grandma's pictures, which meant putting some in an album for my cousins, and making envelopes for the local historical society, women's club and my church. As for my box, I wound up finding a lot of irrelevant stuff that could be thrown away, and I was able to compile a really nice scrapbook of funny and sweet memories that is easily accessible.

While this project is time-consuming, it also eliminates clutter. Instead of moving big boxes full of "stuff", I'll be able to have some photo albums that will take up a lot less space and will be much more organized.

I'll tell you one thing I realized last night looking back in my past-- the last time I was at the size I am now, I was in junior high! Scary. But good, really good.

OH! I'm so bogged down with all this stuff that I forgot I was supposed to have a Weekend Game Plan today! OK, here goes, the plan for this weekend:

FRIDAY: Usual breakfast and lunch, and as far as I know dinner is a home-cooked meal, so I shouldn't have any problems sticking to plan today.

SATURDAY: Instead of altering my morning routine, I am going to stick to it as closely as possible. I may do a different workout (stationary bike or workout ball instead of treadmill), but I'm going to stick to my usual breakfast and mid-morning snack. My goal is to get to get on the treadmill during Mabel's acrobatics class, then find a healthy lunch.

Here's the problem for the weekend: We're invited to an anniversary surprise party. Main dishes for the meal are fried chicken, ham, macaroni and cheese, coleslaw. And don't forget the cake! I don't expect any healthy options there, because I've partied with these people before and they just don't think that way. So here's the options:
1. Eat whatever I want and start over Sunday (likely but getting old)
2. Eat what's there but strictly watch portion control (rewarding the day after but very hard to do)
3. Take some things with me: a big salad or cut up veggies, low calorie drinks, maybe an apple. (a little awkward and risk looking like a "problem guest")

If I can avoid option 1, I will probably wind up doing a combination of 2 & 3. I'll definitely take a bottle or two of my selzter water -- I do this all the time and everyone's used to it. Maybe I can sneak an apple along, or eat it right before I go to help fill me up a little.

What I must do is MOVE AWAY FROM THE FOOD! It wouldn't be so bad if I ate a "normal" meal of what's there if I didn't wind up parking myself by the food the rest of the night and sneaking more and more until I'm bursting. After the meal I need to find a seat as far away from the food as possible, hold that bottle of seltzer in my hand and use my mouth to talk instead of eat.

SUNDAY: Once again, I need to stick to a similar version of my regular routine: workout, healthy breakfast and morning snack. Lunch is always a toss-up this day, so the goal is to help select the restaurant so I can find healthy choices. And supper needs to be heavy on the veggies.

Well, let's see how it goes. I'll let you know what the final verdict is on this week's weigh-in and how well I can stick to the Game Plan!