Wednesday, November 29, 2006

The Struggle Continues

Despite the fact that I didn't think I did well yesterday, I had another nice plunge on the scale this morning, so the post-holiday de-bloating continues. A major factor in this situation is that during the eating days I was in PMS mode, when I absorb fluids better than the world's best sponge. This morning began the TOTM, when I typically lose this water retention. This is a monthly thing no matter what I eat.

Why don't I think I did well?
1. My daughter wanted to go to Wendy's for lunch, and instead of ordering a salad or chili, I got the jalapeno cheddar melt sandwich I saw on TV and have been coveting
2. I snacked on danger foods in the afternoon-- mainly, nuts. And I had much more than I should have.
3. At supper I didn't measure anything, ate full fat salad dressing and 1.5 pieces of garlic bread

In my defense, here's the things I did right:
1. I exercised
2. Ate a healthy breakfast and morning snack
3. At Wendy's I opted for the 1/4 pound burger instead of the 1/2 pound, I passed on the french fries and drank water
4. I realized the nuts were driving me into a binge situation, and I forced myself to stop before it went too far. I put the nuts in a high, hard-to-reach, out of sight location and told myself "no more". I drank a big glass of water to try to flush out the salt from the nuts and went on with my day.
5. Although I didn't measure my supper, without even thinking about it I cut the steak in half and left the rest on the serving plate. Although I did eat the garlic bread, the meal mainly consisted of veggies: salad, asparagus, and roasted winter veggies (onion, carrot and rutabaga!).

Last night I took my daughter up for her bath. After brushing my teeth (which always announces to me that eating is done for the day) I found my old journal from last year and looked and those holiday entries. It's funny how similar my life is: I try to prevent overeating, do it anyway, then climb back on the horse and keep on riding. I do tend to have some doubts that I can get back on track, but as long as I rough it out I have managed to keep going. While it was a little discouraging to see that I seem to repeat the same mistakes, it was encouraging that I do have a record of eventual success.

While I would have liked to have been the epitome of model behavior since Monday, at least I'm slowly moving back towards my healthy habits as the week progresses. Yes, I'm struggling, but at least there is a struggle going on instead of complete surrender to the cravings and the urges. And as long as I don't give up, I'll still have a chance of reaching my goals.


Vickie said...

I hear what you are saying - every single day is a struggle for me - I just trying to get myself to the point where I am in the "good habits" some what automatically and don't even think about doing it the "bad way" (any more).

Lori said...

I like how you went through this logically and evaluated the good and bad assumptions on your day.

Just concentrate on the fact that you're doing good things automatically and you're realizing mid-way through that you're in a danger zone. Some people keep driving and stopping at these zones without seeing what they're doing.

I think that for many of us, the realization that we have to keep an eye on what we do forever if we want to keep this weight off IS a drag. OTOH, maybe we're not so different than an old friend with Type I diabetes who has to prick his fingers 5+ times a day to make sure he is not in a danger zone.

The other thing is this. If we let ourselves get back to where we were, we will spend every day unhappy and sad and bitter that we are fat. So it's a trade-off, I suppose, of what we have to think about every day.