Thursday, July 01, 2004

Making Goal

I just made my monthly goal of 250 on the very last day possible, but that's typical of the way I do most things. But now I've lost 60 pounds since Feb. 17 -- over 80 total since my very heaviest point -- and that only continues to amaze me.

It wasn't long ago that I used to think to myself, "Oh, if I could only get myself back down to 250, but even that would take a miracle." Now it's here, after only four and a half months of trying, and now I consider 250 my halfway point to my new "if only" of 190 pounds. Honestly, it seems like such a dream to get below that monumental 200. But I just have to continue what I've been doing, not only what I eat and do physically, but emotionally as well. That means smaller, more approachable monthly and weekly goals, allowing myself the occasional "chow down" and not beating myself up when I do. Clearly it's been working so far, and as long as I continue regular exercise and moderate portions of healthy food, I should (God help me) be able to keep it off.

Now if I can just keep my stress levels to a minimum. This week I've been busting my butt trying to get some loose ends tied up with my life so I have less to fret over, at least during this training month with the new job. I've been trying to streamline, organize and systematize things at home and at the B&B so I have less aggravations, and doing lots of errands like prescription refills, eye exams and other things so I don't forget about them later.

I feel like I'm preparing for a big vacation or a prolonged hospital stay/illness. I'm surprised I haven't cooked a lot of meals and frozen them (although that isn't such a bad idea!). I can't get the mindset of the overwhelming newspaper job out of my head. I have to keep telling myself this is a part-time job, not a life-sucking one like the previous job eventually became. Surely this will be a job I can easily master -- I'm certainly overqualified! I just need to find a way to relax and look forward to this.

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