Stepping Out

Well, disappointment. OA is not meeting in M anymore. The closest place that I'm aware of is J-town, on Monday nights during my daughter's dance class, and Saturday mornings, when I'll be working most weekends at the B&B. So I made some calls and left my info with the regional group, and I think they're going to send me information. I find it shocking that there isn't a meeting in our county seat -- there are certainly enough overeaters around!

So, for the time being I'm reading stuff on the Internet and I'm looking into books and OA literature. If I can at least keep myself motivated that way until I can find a meeting that works or a support person to talk or email with about the steps and OA issues.

Tuesday was Shrove Tuesday and we had a typical Lutheran pot luck dinner at the church. I was a little nervous about going and being tempted to overeat, but I thought I did very well -- I got little samples of different dishes and didn't overload my plate, and I limited myself to one small piece of dessert. I didn't feel deprived and I left feeling satisfied, not stuffed. In fact, earlier that day I went to lunch with S.A. at the Chinese buffet, which I was concerned about, too. Again, I thought about what I picked, went heavier on veggies and lighter on rice and breaded items, and didn't even have an urge to get the desserts. I went up twice, but I didn't pile up my plate. Again, when I left I didn't feel like I had overeaten and didn't feel like I gorged.

Now some people might say, "but you ate high-starch, high-carb or sugary food," or "you should be avoiding buffets and pot lucks." But then I would have missed out on the fellowship and friendship that were the reason for the get-togethers. In my opinion, if I hadn't gone, I would have felt that I was depriving myself, which would have made me feel sorry for myself and would have very likely led to a binge, which almost always happens when I'm alone. I truly believe I ate sensibly and mindfully, and that's the main idea of this whole thing.

In fact, today was the first time since I've started that I had a binge craving -- I was driving in the car and started thinking about making a pumpkin pie that's in the freezer. I was fully aware of it and thought it through, and instead I went home and started to make my healthy dinner, which included my maple mashed sweet potatoes, and they took care of the pumpkin craving quite well!

Later, Mabel and I treated ourselves by watching our brand new Yoga for kids tape and trying out the various poses. We had a lot of fun, and actually did physical exercise rather than eating, which is very good indeed.

I'm not going to kid myself. I know there will be days ahead where the temptations will be greater and my resolve will be less. But I know how to make healthy choices, not just with food but with activities, too, and the more I do them, the more habitual they will become, and hopefully that foundation will get me through those rough days.