Maybe This is Different

A very uneventful weekend. Which I suppose is good, because there were no temptations or stress to lead me astray.

But the funny thing is, I'm not really having my usual cravings for sweets-- not sure if it's the cold (still hard to taste anything) or these pills. In fact, my appetite seems to continue to decrease; normally after a couple days of "watching what I eat," I build up for a "I gotta make up for lost time" binge. But it's just not there. Either they're damn good pills, or my brain and my body are changing.

While I'm eager to talk to Dr. K. about these things, I'm also embarrassed/ashamed by it, admitting that there's something wrong. That despite my earlier protestations, I do believe I have a food addiction. Part of me worries that I'm kidding myself -- that I'm just putting a new spin on the old word DIET. That in a few weeks or months I'll fall off the wagon like I always have and be right back where I started. But maybe this is different. Maybe some kind of switch has been turned on in my brain, and there's no going back. At least it feels that way. I can only try to move forward and see.